The Wounds of Man
(Much of what follows, I learned in the school of hard knocks. I earned a graduate degree from that school while majoring in “How to Extend the Life of Your Wound!” Life teaches us many valuable lessons, and unfortunately, I learned many of them the hard way. I pray that you will be a better student, and a quicker learner than I was.)
1. The Origin of the Wound - When children play, wounds happen. Children can get wounded from falling off of a bicycle, playing with sticks, walking in mom’s high heel shoes, and a host of other ways. Adults tend to get wounded in more serious ways, such as breaking a leg while snow skiing, hitting their thumb with a hammer, peeling fruit in the kitchen (not that I have ever done that), and again, a host of other ways. In the same ways, spiritual, emotional, and psychological wounds can happen to us through a variety of methods. Life can hurt. We don’t start out with directions, and we wouldn’t read them if we did. Your wound may have come from someone, or something, maybe even your own thoughts, feelings, or perceptions. Regardless of where your wound originated, your wound is valid. You need to hear that: your wound is valid. It matters. It’s real. No one can say that your wound doesn’t count because of one reason or another. No one can delegitimize your wound. It’s your wound. If you feel that you carry a wound, from any source, from however long ago, from whatever circumstance you feel caused it, you have a valid wound, or hurt in your life, and Jesus wants to help you overcome it. That’s Who He is, and that’s what He does! He is the Ultimate Healer! He has never met a wound that was too big for Him to heal. It makes no difference where your wound came from. It makes all the difference where you look for healing!
2. Cleanup on Aisle 5 - You have probably been in a grocery store and heard that phrase at some point. That statement tells you two things: 1) there is a mess on aisle 5, and 2) someone needs to clean it up. Though our wounds may not be our fault, because they are in our lives, they are our problems and our responsibilities to deal with. Your wound IS your problem, and it IS your responsibility to deal with, even if it wasn’t your fault. No one else is going to clean up YOUR wound! Wounds are messy, to say the least. I did a very poor job of dealing with mine for many years, partially for not knowing how to deal with it, or who to turn to for real help, though I did make some efforts, and partially because of the ever present shame and guilt that accompanied my wound. Wounds have multiple layers of damage and decay involved, and can have profound effects for years, or decades, on a person’s life, not only placing them in bondage (prison), but also keeping them in the chains of bondage. Unhealed wounds turn hurting people into prisoners, keeping them from becoming the person God meant for them to be, and thus; missing the life God meant for them to have. If you have unhealed wounds, decide and commit to keep searching for real help until you find it. There is NO shame in being wounded. Most people have some kind of wound; maybe more than one. Not getting help for the wound is the real shame. We all need a “cleanup on aisle 5” at times.
3. Most Wounds Have Legitimate Roots - Many wounds will cause one to highlight and mask a particular, legitimate emotional, or psychological need, and become enslaved to meeting that need through illegitimate, possibly risky methods, until one is in bondage. Bondage then further intensifies the wound, and causes it to spread and take over one's mind, heart, and life. Wounded people need to realize that behind their wound is a deep, normal, healthy, living legitimate human need that has not been fulfilled in legitimate ways. This is why some females will seek love and acceptance in the arms of man after man, or why some men may seek their wounded masculinity with sex with other men, or why some people will seek their happiness in the accumulation of many things, or why insecure people may seek positions of power and influence. The key is to identify the unmet legitimate need, and seek ways that God can fulfill that need legitimately. That is God’s way. That is part of your pathway to healing. Legitimate needs deserve legitimate recognition and satisfaction.
4. Our Wounds Tend to be Severe - I didn't realize the devastation that I was headed towards in my early days after being wounded. Does one ever know the deep effects that wounds and sin can have in one's life? Days of struggling turn into weeks, months, years, and even decades. One wound can cause a lifetime of misery if not dealt with quickly and appropriately under God's care. Spiritual wounds are not like physical wounds, which tend to get better over time. Spiritual wounds grow deeper, and spread their roots, and manifest themselves through hurt and or inappropriate actions. Where a physical wound may be healed in days, a spiritual, emotional, or psychological wound may take years to heal, or even longer.
Deep wounds will continue to bleed until they are healed. People with severe wounds will hurt, and act out, and likely hurt others, until that wound is healed. Wounds don't just heal themselves, or go away on their own, and contrary to the saying, time doesn't heal all wounds. Time may cover them up, but they are still there, and a covered wound is not the same as a healed wound. Some wounds are so deep that only God's grace can heal them. These wounds need to be dealt with aggressively before they cause further damage, which is very likely. The worst thing one can do with a severe wound is to ignore it. It will not get better by itself. Take action. Do something. Seek help. Be strong enough to fight the wound and take back the ground it has stolen in your life. It is common for people to need qualified people, maybe professional counselors who specialize in the area, to help them do this. There is no shame in needing, and seeking, help. Jesus leads many wounded down this road with professional counselors.
5. Hopelessness is its Own Prison - People with deep wounds can become hopeless. Some may even take their own life. But not all hopelessness has such drastic effects. Some hopelessness may simply cause one to abandon the hope of ever being truly free, and consign the prisoner to accept a life of uncontrolled or "managed" sin or pain. This is a huge victory for the enemy because any person who settles for this sentence has given up on the call of God in his or her life, and they will never become the person God intended them to become. Hopelessness becomes devastating causing one to abandon the pursuit of freedom. It enables one to stay in their prison, surrounded by the walls of shame, and to even stop looking for a way of escape. They may begin to believe that even God Himself cannot break their chains. And so they settle for a life of guilt, shame, and unfulfilled dreams, thus, perpetuating more hopelessness and defeat in their life. Hopelessness is its own prison. If the empty tomb teaches us anything, it teaches us that there is hope! And there is hope for you, regardless of your wound or prison.
6. A Chain is a Chain is a Chain - We tend to think that whatever it is that “I” am struggling with is the worst possible thing to struggle with. “My” chain is the worst, most powerful chain imaginable. “Nothing” could possibly be worse than “my” sin or “my” wound.
But to Jesus, a chain is a chain is a chain. He can break them all! It really makes no difference what your chain is made of. The One who conquered death and cast off His grave clothes, and moved His own grave stone from inside the tomb, can snap that chain into pieces any time He chooses! Your chain may be huge and debilitating to you, but to Jesus, it’s just another opportunity in your life for you to give it over to Him on a daily basis, as you learn to walk towards Him, and away from your bondage. This is not to discredit the pain or validity of your chain in any way. It is to recognize the power and authority of your God in every way! Stop looking at the size of your chain, and start gazing at the size of your King! The substance of your chain is a non-issue to Him! Don’t make it one for you.
7. Putting On the Act - Prisoners become very good at acting, and very hardened to their own sin. They learn to adopt and accept a new world view based on their own pain and suffering. This enables them to continue to function at some level, while the wound continues to wreak havoc in their life. This keeps them in hiding, for fear that someone may find out what they are dealing with, and the immense pain, struggles, and inconsistencies in their life. This "act" becomes their method of operation, and the false self they put forward to the world, and they do this as a way to "protect" themselves from anyone actually knowing them, or the issues and struggles they face. This "protection" continues to cover up their wound, and dig their hole of shame even deeper, so more damage is done to their wound. The “act” can become quite stressful and depressing. A part of the healing process involves the hurting person facing their hurts, and dealing with life more realistically. This involves less acting, and more living in reality. It involves more openness and honesty in their relationships. And it involves giving one’s self the permission to not have to look like they have it all together in life. None of us do anyway, so join the club!
8. Love Not the Lesser Things - The failure to see what is truly important and valuable in life is what keeps wounded prisoners enamored with lesser things, as imitations of that which truly is good and valuable. Bondage limits one's perception and vision so that one falsely becomes satisfied with the imitations and shadows of the good, instead of the realities of the actual good itself. They learn to believe that what they have is as good as it gets, or at least good enough. The mediocrity of the status quo becomes satisfactory enough to keep the person from looking for the Life (Jn. 10:10) which truly satisfies, because that would require change, and no one likes change, especially wounded, broken people. Sin and wounds cause a blindness of the soul that has far reaching, true life limiting, dream crushing impacts in their life. However, as a prisoner, one cannot fully realize or understand how binding those limitations are. Sin binds and it blinds. Vision for something greater is what gives one the strength to make changes in his or her life. To boil this down to one word, the word is “hope,” or we could say “faith,” faith that there is something better out there. We begin the process of leaving the lesser things, or the shadows, when we see how glorious the greater things, or the realities, can be. And the process starts with just a small step. You cannot reach greater heights in life if you are satisfied living in the valleys.
9. You Cannot Serve Two Masters - Prisoners are willing to live with the greatest of life's contradictions, struggles, and deep pain, because of not knowing where to turn for genuine help, or who to turn to. This further strengthens the prison walls, and lengthens the time spent in chains. Sin flows out of wounds, and more wounds flow out of sin. But sin always deceives, and always disappoints in the end, leading to a hardened heart (Heb. 3:13), which leads to more sin and more wounds. Prisoners in the United States prison system know they are in prison. Prisoners held by chains of sin and past wounds may not know they are also in a type of prison, because the sin deceives the prisoner. People can absolutely hate their chains, and be addicted to them at the same time. There can be both disgust and pleasure in the same behavior, for the person in chains. This entraps them in the greatest of internal contradictions, and as Jesus said, “You cannot serve two masters,” (Mt. 6:24) regardless of how hard we may try. A Christian cannot be happy living a life that contradicts God’s call on their life.
10. You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet - Deeply wounded people may do stupid, risky, foolish, irrational things, they would never do if their wound was healed. One's wounds distort one's rationality, perception, decisions, character, reality, relationships, values, actions, and life. This distortion often leads to unwise, and even unwanted, behaviors. The depth of the depravity that the prisoner's behavior reaches is proportional to the severity of his or her wound. The deeper the wound, the more risk into inappropriate behaviors one is willing to venture into, to find the false medication one seeks for temporary relief from the wound's pain. The potential for temporary relief or joy overcomes one's rational abilities, and impairs their decision making process. Thus, the sin cycle in one's life often escalates, sometimes far beyond what one ever thought or imagined. Wounded people sometimes find themselves doing things they could have never imagined, had they not been wounded. If the wound remains unhealed, there will likely be more bleeding.
11. Haven’t I Been Here Before? - Sin can be a prison that one chooses because the false medication that one self administers seems to placate the wound, at least temporarily, but temporary relief only lengthens the life of the wound. The opposing feelings of depression and euphoria not only postpone the healing process, but they also cause much internal strife, which causes more hurt feelings, which provide rich soil for the wound to continue to grow, and bring further decay. Those in bondage often find themselves in sin "cycles" where they run to the same false medication over and over for that quick, temporary relief, or “high,” which eventually passes, and further exposes the unhealed wound again and again. The cycle is hurt - wound - pain - false medication - temporary pleasure - high - coming down - hurt - wound - pain…. This happens over and over, so the wound and sin cycle becomes a prison that becomes stronger and stronger the more times the cycle is repeated. False medication never healed anything, but it will prolong the problem. Real healing is found through Jesus Christ, and finding our hope, strength, and answers in Him. If you have lived with your wound for long enough, it’s time to do something different! Make a decision. Make a choice. Reach for the life you want which Jesus Christ offers. Now take a step and do something different…
12. The Buck Stops with YOU! - President Truman had a no-nonsense approach to decision making. The sign, “The Buck Stops Here” on his desk reflected his belief that he was ultimately responsible for the actions of his administration. You need that same determination and tough mindedness. You may have been severely wounded in one of many ways, and your wounds may still be a deep source of pain for you. I know that wounds can impact our lives in terrible ways for years. Been there. Your wounds may not be your fault, but they are your problem, and they are now your responsibility. Accept that and quit running from it.
You cannot continue to blame someone else for bad decisions that you make, even if those decisions flow out of your wounds that someone else caused. Wounds can certainly affect us for years, but there has to be a time when YOU take responsibility for your actions. If your wound still affects you, then find a legitimate, appropriate way to deal with it. Seek professional help if needed. But you cannot continue to blame your current inappropriate actions on your past wounds that someone else caused. That is part of growing up and taking responsibility for yourself. Find a way to deal with your wounds so that they no longer impact you in such negative ways. Face your wound. Find a way to deal with it. Stop making allowances and excuses for it. Find someone to help you face it. After all, the buck stops with YOU!
13. Hold On and Remain Faithful - If you are reading this, and you are wounded, or you are in bondage, or you are not free of some sinful pattern in your life, I could say, “Welcome to the club,” meaning there are many, many people (yes, even Christians) who fit into that category. Maybe Jesus hasn’t set you free yet. Maybe you have struggled with some issue, or wound, or sin for years, like I did. Maybe your wound is deep, and your sin is ugly. The truth is that when we see the holiness, and the glory, and the righteousness of God, all sin is ugly. We do, however, tend to think that our sin is the ugliest. Many Christians, who sincerely love Jesus, and seek to live for Him (as opposed to those who do not), struggle with ugly issues, deep wounds, and ungodly habits. What if Jesus hasn’t set you free just yet? Instead of, “Welcome to the club,” I say, “Hold on, and remain faithful with your eyes fixed on Jesus!”
In Rev. 2:10, the church of Smyrna is facing very difficult times, and Jesus said to them, “Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.” Jesus didn’t come for perfect people; He came for sick, wounded, strugglers, who choose to find Life in Him, even though this world wins some battles in our lives. Jesus isn’t afraid of you losing a battle. He came so you could win the war! And the great news is He has already won it! Run your race to gain the prize (1 Cor. 9:24)! Treasure Christ above anything this world offers (Mt. 6:33)! When you fall down, get back up (Prov. 24:16)! Know that you are never condemned (Rom. 8:1)! Know that God is working these trials, temptations, and testings for your good (Rom. 8:28)! Know that He has something better planned for you than what this world offers (Heb. 11:40)! Press on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of you (Phil. 3:12)! Strive to live UP to what you have ALREADY attained (Phil. 3:16)! Hold on, and remain faithful!
(Be sure to read “The Freedom of Jesus” after reading this article.)