My Deepest Desire

I have had three huge fears in my life. This poem relates to my third and final fear; that my life not count for much in kingdom terms.

 

It was never that I would have great fame

Or even that many would know my name

It was never that crowds would follow me

It was more that I point them to thee

 

The temptations of fame and success always come

To those who are called, so innocent and young

Somehow the drive to influence and impact

Can go missing on the bus, alone in the back

 

Motives can often get twisted and sidetracked

As this world’s values systematically attack

The dreams of touching lives can get lost

As the drive to thrive comes with great cost

 

This world’s standards seep in and destroy

Many a pure hopes of young preacher boys

Envy and greed are not hidden behind the pulpit

Growing stronger as Satan targets his bullets 

 

The fear of failing in such a noble task

Comparisons prompt the wearing of masks

The truth that it is all about our God’s glory

Can be overshadowed by our own broken story

 

But I no longer seek fortune or fame

I care not if anyone knows my name

I do not seek a grand cathedral

With lush carpet and wealthy people

 

I no longer share this world’s view of success

Truth is, it seems to me like such a mess

How did we get to here from there

Why do His servants chase this world’s affairs

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I have one flaming hope, I have one passionate dream

That my life would count, that my time would redeem

I care not to be known or named

Couldn’t care less to be rewarded or acclaimed

 

No, my one great hope is that my life significantly count

I cannot waste it as my days march and quickly mount

Precious time disappears swiftly as it runs its race

But my slowing clock is what I fearfully face

 

I only long to honor my King

I live to help others find a new song to sing

The song of His goodness and amazing grace

The glory we behold when we look upon His face

 

My heart wants only to powerfully matter

Not with this lost world’s useless clatter

But with the wondrous hymn of Christ honoring direction

And living an intentional life of contagious affection

 

My goal is to call others to live up

To help them find Life from a deeper cup

I want them to know the King who set me free

I want them to feel the intense joy of the redeemed

 

My strongest hope, my deepest desire

That I am but a vessel for His blazing fire

I care not what else may come

Only that in the end Jesus says “Well done!”

 

2-22-24