Churchianity
I want to believe that my number one goal in my life is to do something significant for the Kingdom of God. Not huge or famous. Just something that makes a difference for others. Something that matters eternally. I want to believe that. But sometimes, when I'm honest with myself, I wonder.
I admit that I have piddled at this "Churchianity" thing far too long. I have been inoculated with its message of "come, sit, & give." As I am approaching the middle of my 45th year, there is a deeper hunger than ever before for my life to break out of this deadness and count for the Kingdom. There is a yearning in my heart that if I do not change courses now, I may never change courses. I would then be relegated to sit on the sidelines for the rest of my days, always fearing that to get in the game was just too risky, although I enjoyed watching others play. I fear that even more. I have been too cautious, too lazy, and too callous about the real mission of God, substituting church attendance, bible study, and an occasional act of kindness for it. I fall far short of the true gospel message of self denial, sacrifice, and a life of service. As Steve Camp wrote, I've been "playing marbles with diamonds".
As I read the words of Christ, I see no room for vicarious Christianity, and yet if I am honest, that's my brand. My faith costs me very little, if anything. I believe in a gospel that calls me to be a nice guy and be a good person. Don't stand out and don't make waves. That's not the gospel I read in the Book. My peers and I live as though we do all that is expected when we go to church. My flesh cringes at the thought of real prayer, fasting, and sacrifice. I do not eagerly anticipate my time alone with God, because this world has its grip on me, though I don't admit that freely. I avoid anything that would demand too much of my Christianity. I don't want people to think I'm a radical, not that they would. This world is a very comfortable place – isn't that what Jesus warned us about? Don't you think He might have been thinking about that when He said, "the love of many will grow cold?” If what we say, that this world is not our home, is true, why do we live like it is? Ever heard the phrase, "Asleep in the light"?
Yet, there is a glimmer of hope in my heart that beats against my soul, screaming that there is something more to this life. I seem to remember something Jesus said about giving one's life away so he could save it. I faintly recall His words that if I really wanted to follow him, I MUST deny myself and take up MY cross.That really doesn't sound very comfortable, but in our times of debate, He never changes His words, though others do and try to convince me that I only have to be "willing" to sacrifice. Thank goodness I don't have to actually do it! That would cost me something. But my heart will not let go of this ray of light; that if I really would deny self, sacrifice, and serve, then maybe, just maybe, I would find the LIFE of which He spoke! The LIFE for which my heart cries. The LIFE for which I was made. The question is, "Will I do it?" "Will I get off this wide road that leads to destruction?" "Will I jump?" C'mon, wake up Greg!
What is sadder still is that I do not know where to turn off this wandering road. This must be how the Israelites must have felt on their 40 year detour. I know it leads me nowhere, and I know that Christ calls me to get off of it and get on the narrow one with few travelers, but I don't know anyone going that way. I want to enter the narrow gate, but I feel a little wide for it. I'm just not sure how to get on that road. At times, I feel like I'm backpedaling; I just haven't jumped off yet. One would think that someone with a bible college and seminary degree would know how to get on the right road. But such is the deception of this "Churchianity" thing. It has so blended with our (my) Americanism that sometimes, it's hard for us to tell where one stops and the other one starts. It is difficult to distinguish the good from the godly. I substitute busyness for service, morality for holiness, and activity for passion. My couch is worn and my prayer closet is dusty. My refrigerator is open and my bible is closed. As Keith Green said, "My eyes are dry, my faith is old, my heart is hard, and my prayers are cold. And I know how I ought to be; alive to You and dead to me." But death is so permanent. So final. So uncomfortable. C'mon, wake up Greg!
We in the American church have become far too comfortable with our middle class lifestyles which would be considered extremely rich by 90% of the world. We begin to justify, in the name of Christ, the material things with which this world tempts us. I myself, am not sure I even know what sacrifice for the Kingdom of God is. I don't think I've ever seen it. I doubt that I've ever done it, but I cannot escape His call to live it. I want to give but my culture, and yes, sometimes my Christianity, says, "Get.” Almost every preacher on TV talks about how God wants to bless me and give me His abundance. They speak of "Victory.” They speak of a faith that overcomes financial difficulties. And if I will just send the guy fifty bucks, he'll say a magical prayer for me that will change everything. Is this what Christianity has come to? Whatever happened to obedience for obedience sake? When did holiness turn into a pathway to abundance? What do these prophets of prosperity know that Jesus didn't? And why is it that being a godly Christian today means driving a BMW and having a large bank account plus a cushy retirement plan? I missed that part in the Word. I think Jesus missed it too. Maybe He didn't have enough faith…
I know I can't help all of the 30,000 kids who die every day because of nutrition related illnesses, but can't I help one, or two? Can't my church help a hundred or so? But I'm afraid it didn't make the budget. It was either that or a new whatever, and well, we do have our standards don't we? Come to think of it, what difference does my Christianity make for anyone in the third world? Or the first one for that matter? Didn't Jesus say something about much being required of the rich? I'm sure that He will be impressed with my giving, or lack of it. I hope He understands. I hope that He knows that we support those in the third world, even if we didn't help them. Surely, someone else will feel "called" to that. Maybe the parable of the sheep and the goats is just fiction anyway. You know, a children's story. Just one of those things that we read, but we don't really believe. Just not for our day. Yeah, that's it.
Real faith, biblical faith, is faith that jumps. It swims against the flow, or the culture, or yes at times, even the church (Just ask Luther). It shouts so loudly, it cannot be ignored. It always calls us outside of our comfort zone to a place of the unknown. That is where we will find Him as we leave the safety and security of our boat, and step out on the wind tossed sea where He waits for us. Where He longs for us. Where He bids us come. Where faith meets life. Real faith doesn't lead to abundance; it leads to sacrifice. It doesn't lead to self promotion; it leads to self denial. It doesn't lead to being served; it leads to service. It leads us to look and act like Jesus, who by the way, had to go fishing just to pay His taxes, and didn't have a place he called home. He's not calling us to poverty, but He is calling us to sacrifice. C'mon, wake up church!
So maybe Jesus meant what He said when He said, "Go and sell your possessions and give to the poor." Maybe He said that just for us in the good ole rich US of A, where the flag gets more allegiance than the cross. Maybe He meant that it really would be difficult for the rich to enter the gates. Maybe this wide road really isn't leading us where we think we are going. Maybe we really are the camel He spoke of. Maybe we really cannot serve two masters after all, but we've sure given it a good try. Maybe our blessing of being born into the most prosperous country the world has ever known, though a tremendous opportunity, has actually been a curse. Perhaps the first will be last. Perhaps life wasn't a both/and scenario like we thought, but it was an either/or scenario like we feared. Maybe salvation wasn't about walking an aisle; maybe it was about taking up our cross and maybe “daily” really meant “daily.” Maybe He didn't mean that we just "had to be willing to sacrifice,” but we actually had to do it. Perhaps He really expected that we would become servants and evangelists, washing feet and spreading the Word. Maybe church growth is nothing and Kingdom growth is everything. Perhaps when He spoke of being hot or cold, He wasn't speaking of the air conditioning system, just as when He spoke of being blind and deaf, He wasn't speaking of our eyes and ears, but of our hearts. Maybe we pay too much attention to churches and not enough to the Church, too much to our kingdom and not enough to the Kingdom, too much to buildings and not enough to building the Kingdom. Too much intake; not enough outflow. Too much get; not enough give. Too much on self; not enough on others. Too many words; not enough deeds. Too much indulgence; not enough sacrifice. C'mon, wake up church!
Yeah, I have lots of questions and I'm not afraid to ask them of myself or my Christian culture. In fact, I believe that unless we start asking some difficult questions, we will continue down this same passionless, powerless road that has dulled the hearts of millions before us and rendered them useless for the Kingdom of God. When will the church stop spending so much money on entertaining the saved and start spending more on reaching the lost? When will we realize that things are temporary and people are eternal? When will we start to spend more on the needy than we do on ourselves? When will begin to preach the whole Word of God in the pulpits, not the one that speaks of our self actualization process where we can become better, happier, well adjusted, more well rounded, puffed up American Christians with large bank accounts, but the Word that calls us to live the gospel, to deny ourselves, to love our neighbor, to sacrifice for the Kingdom, and to give to the poor? THAT gospel! The one Jesus taught! When will we quit fretting over filling seats and watering down the real gospel to do it and start laboring to fill souls and teach them the whole counsel of God, even if some "turn away"? When will we realize that buildings and programs don't reach people; loving people reaches people? When will the church shake off its dusty, powerless image, fight to regain its true calling, and start to be the authentic Church again in the midst of a generation of skeptics and doubters? When will the church realize that at least half of those who say they are with us, really aren’t with us when they understand the real costs involved? Neither were they with Jesus.
Where do we go from here? How do we get off of this road that only leads to self fulfillment and get on the road that leads to LIFE? How do we give heed to that small voice that screams from somewhere down deep within the inner chambers of our hearts for us to die to self and live to God? How do we separate the gospel of American prosperity with the gospel of Christian sacrifice? How do we begin to prove by our actions that we love Him more than we love ourselves? How do we quit "playing marbles with diamonds?”
I am reminded of the words of Joshua who said, "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua had a choice to live in the risk and faith of the future or in the safety and sight of the past. He had a choice to live for himself or live for God. He had a choice to stay in his dead end religion or to walk with God in a new journey that called his heart to true greatness by laying aside self and walking in a genuine relationship with his God, even though it would cost him. That's the choice I face. That's the choice you face. C'mon church, wake up!
In other words, "JUMP!"
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9-12-2007